Dear Baby "Cohen" - 5mo Letter

Hello baby!!

SO much has happened in the past month!  The biggest news of all is that on March 29th, we found out you're a little BOY!!  There really aren't words for how I felt when I actually made the discovery - that's right, your brainiac of a momma read that ultrasound loud and clear before the doctor even had a chance to announce it and I screamed, "OMG, it's a boy!!"  I was bawling, your Grammy was bawling, and Daddy - well, he was in disbelief for a minute that he was going to have a little man running around the house with him, someone to watch Buckeyes games and to take to the batting cages.  Once the shock wore off, he was jumping up and down and was beyond excited.  I can honestly say that other than the moment I said "I Do" to your daddy on our wedding day, it was the best moment in my entire life...and I'll never ever forget it. 

We decided before we even knew if you were going to be a little girl or a little boy that your name was going to be Cohen Lees Jaroscak.  The name 'Cohen' is a name that I've really liked for some time now.  Your first name isn't named after anyone in particular (although when you're old enough you can watch old episodes of the tv show 'The OC' with us - because a character on there, Summer, called her boyfriend by his last name, which was Cohen.  I always thought it was such a cool sounding name - and when I brought it up to your daddy he loved it too!)  It's such a strong first name, and one that will undoubtedly suit you as a baby and much later in life!!  Plus, I don't know of any other 'Cohen's so you'll be one of a kind!!  Your middle name, 'Lees' is after your Great Grammaw Ghertie's maiden name.  Grammaw Ghertie is daddy's grandma and PapPap's mom.  I only had the chance to meet her once while your daddy and I were dating, and she went to live with Jesus before we got married, but I know she was a very special lady and your daddy loved her VERY much.  I know he can't wait for you to be old enough to tell you stories of how when he was little he would bury army men in her backyard or how she made the best strawberry rhubarb pie.  Your PapPap is so excited to have you share a piece of her and represent her memory with your middle name (plus, everyone tells us how cool of a name it is!!) 

You've done a ton of growing the past month!  You're about 10.5 inches right now, from head to toe (because you've stretched out, beginning in week 20, the dr starts measuring you from head to toe instead of head to the bottom of your cute little tush) - and you weigh about a full pound!!  I found myself in the pantry the other day holding a box of sugar because they say that's about what it's comparable to.  No wonder I'm starting to feel heavier as well :)  A white, greasy protective coating called vernix caseosa has just begun to form on your skin and if I could look in and see you right now, you would be pink, translucent and really wrinkled!  I know how wrinkly my fingers get when I've been in the pool or the lake for a long time - I can't imagine how wrinkly they'd be after 5 months of swimming around!!  You may have hair on your head and eyebrows by now.  You can make facial expression, frowning and grimacing expressively.  Although I like to think with all of the dancing around to good music that we do and with the great foods I feed you, you do more smiling than anything!  Speaking of music, your ears are well developed and you can hear my voice, my heartbeat and even when my stomach growls!!  You can also hear outside voices and sounds - and I know you like R&B music already.  You have regular sleep and wakeful periods as you begin your daily patterns (and trust me, I know you're very active around 9:30am and 7:30pm). 

Not only does being able to call you by a name make you feel SO real, but I can also feel you move around in my tummy all the time now!!  At first it was a few little cute flutters, but now it's more like judo chops and kicks - I think by the time you're born you'll be black belt certified!!  I also think you think it's fun to jump on my bladder like a trampoline.  It makes me giggle, but it kind of scares me too because every time you do it I feel like I need to run to the bathroom and I'm afraid I won't make it there on time!  Daddy has felt you kick now and he loves it!  We'll just lay in bed sometimes with our hands on my belly and feel you move around - it's the coolest thing!!  Grammy will be here this evening and she hasn't felt you move yet, so I'm going to need you to store up some energy and put on a big show for her!!  All I ask is that as you get bigger and bigger in there, you keep in mind that you'll be able to kick harder and harder - and that mommy loves you very much and hopes you keep the really strong jabs to a minimum.  I'll make you a deal - keep from kicking me in the rib cage and I'll let you stay up really late and eat popcorn on the couch and watch tv with me and daddy one night!

Since I'm halfway through with my pregnancy with you, I figured this month's 5 things would be about the 5 things I've enjoyed most about having you in my tummy!!
***1.  Being pregnant with you has really made me feel more beautiful than I ever have, both inside and out.  While it's a little hard to see the body that I've had for the past 29 years change and get bigger without any of my control, knowing that behind the bump is the most amazing little man in the world - and every time I look down I am so consumed with the reality of how blessed I am to be your momma.
***2.  Being pregnant with you has given me a greater appreciation for my momma and daddy.  I can't lie to you, this pregnancy thing isn't always easy and the thought of the responsibility that comes with raising a , but it really makes me look back and be so thankful to your Grammy and Granddad for how hard they worked to make me the person I am today, which has in turn shaped me to be the best mommy to you that I can possibly be.  The same goes for daddy and Mimi and PapPap.  Although their job may have been a little tougher than Grammy and Granddad's was (stories to come, when you're old enough...), they did an amazing job shaping daddy into the most perfect man in the world for me - and the most perfect daddy in the world for you.  There will be times when you don't like me and daddy very much or times when you think that we're being unfair or mean, but trust me now when I tell you that one day you'll look back and know that we always had your best interest at heart and everything that we ever said and did was out of love - just like daddy and I now realize about our parents.
***3.  Being pregnant with you has also given me a greater appreciation for your daddy.  Cohen, there aren't words for how much I love him and just when I think I can't love him more than I did yesterday, I wake up today and realize I love him even more than that!!  Your daddy is such a strong and hard working man (not to mention devastatingly handsome!)  He has always done everything in his power to make me as happy as I can be, and to provide for me and for our home - but over the past 5 months I've seen that side of him in a whole new light.  Even on days when I come home tired and hungry and achy, he brushes it off and lets me relax and takes care of whatever needs to be taken care of so that I feel better.  Grammy and Granddad prayed for God to send me the perfect husband before I was even born - and God did exactly that.  And your daddy and I already pray for the woman that God has planned for you, way, WAYYYYYYY in the future.  (I'm the #1 woman in your life for at least 35 years, okay!?)  I can't wait for you and your daddy to meet face to face - you're going to be so much like him - and love him more than words can say.  Just like I do.
***4.  Being pregnant with you has brought me closer to God.  Back in October of last year, Dr. Belle told me that I would have trouble conceiving a child.  I was so disappointed because I wanted a baby so badly.  So me, your daddy, Grammy, and a ton of other people began praying.  And low and behold, not 2 months later God proved that He was smarter than any doctor and gave me a big ol "YES" on a pregnancy test!!  He knew what He was doing (He always does), and He just needed me to lean on Him a little bit - and rewarded me with you!  Since then, I've probably thanked Him a million times - and I'm sure I'll thank Him countless times more. 
1 Samuel 1:27 says "For this child I prayed and the Lord granted me what I asked of Him".  I read that verse with insurmountable faith before I knew I was having you - and now that you're a reality, I read it with praise.  I can't wait to teach you all about how amazing God is and how much He loves you!
***5.  Being pregnant with you has given me a greater appreciation for our friends.  Daddy and I have a ton of friends - I can't wait for you to meet them all.  But what's been the most amazing part is how much they love you already!!  Many of them have brought you gifts and call and email and text to check on us every day!  Everyone has gone out of their way to support us in the months before you arrive, and once you're here I'm sure they'll be beating down our door to come and see you and hold you!!  You're going to love them just as much as we do - and just as much as they love you already!

Well my love, we're over halfway there.  In 4 short months I'll get to kiss your sweet face and actually be able to look into those big beautiful eyes of yours.  And there aren't words for how excited I am for that day.

All my love,
Mommy.